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All reviews - Movies (15) - TV Shows (3)

The Ridiculous 6 review

Posted : 1 year, 6 months ago on 18 December 2015 07:19 (A review of The Ridiculous 6)

It's really difficult to describe how awful this movie is. It's too easy to call it laugh free, lazy, ignorant, etc. But sometimes, the right answers are the easiest ones. Please, don't watch this movie, it's not worth it. It's not even fun to watch in a "so bad it's good" sort of way. It is an abysmal, two hour slog into nothingness that even Sandler can make it through. Seriously, he's so lethargic here that you just wanna give him a pillow and tuck him in. Worst of 2015 by an incredibly wide margin and, in a year that gave us Fantastic 4, Pixels, and Entourage, that's a pretty large achievement.


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The Worst Movie of 2013 (So Far)

Posted : 3 years, 8 months ago on 27 October 2013 09:07 (A review of The Counselor)

Warning: Anyone going to see this movie because of the cast and crew's pedigree, it's not worth it. This is a bad movie, going by the title of this review, it's the worst movie I've seen all year. Some people may bring up Grown Ups 2, but I knew that would be bad. This was one of my most anticipated movies of the fall.

The cast is wasted here. The Counselor is a boring character, and there's nothing Fassbender does to shake it. Cruz has nothing to do. She's on screen maybe 15 minutes, and isn't given a thing to do in them. Diaz is solid, but most of the time she's way too over the top. Pitt is good, though he really has no impact on the plot. Bardem is easily the most entertaining here, but he's offed first. Other decent actors show up in maybe one scene, then vanish (The John Leguizamo scene really has no point being in this movie, and the Ruben Blades phone call scene is so laughably bad and out of nowhere that I'm going on record calling it one of the funniest/worst scenes in movie history).

The script is way to talky, and ultimately pointless, but the film's greatest sin is it's editing. The editing is so bad here that at times it seemed like they were just throwing scenes together, hoping for the best. This should have been great, but damn was it bad.

D


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The Starving Games review

Posted : 3 years, 9 months ago on 1 September 2013 07:19 (A review of The Starving Games)

I don't like to judge a movie before it comes out, but... RAZZIE WINNER IN EVERY CATEGORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Man of Steel review

Posted : 4 years ago on 16 June 2013 12:32 (A review of Man of Steel)

Finally, Superman's got a sack. After years of flaccid, lifeless Superman films, Man of Steel brings the action and then some. At times, it's a bit too relentless, but that, along with a thin plot, are it's only real flaws. The cast is great, with Cavill giving a much needed sense of internal conflict not seen in previous incarnations, and Crowe bringing a calming resolve to such an action packed movie. Zack Snyder's visual flair is as evident as ever here, including inspirations from Terrence Malick and others, and it pays of with some of the most stylish looking scenes in recent memory. It's not the greatest movie ever, but in a summer lacking in spectacle, it delivers the goods. I can't wait for the sequel.


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Dunston Checks In review

Posted : 4 years, 2 months ago on 22 April 2013 04:42 (A review of Dunston Checks In)

Dunston you son of a whore, why the hell did you bang that cocktail waitress, you know she's married to a russian mobster?


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Double Trouble review

Posted : 4 years, 7 months ago on 13 November 2012 07:19 (A review of Double Trouble)

Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!


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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter review

Posted : 4 years, 8 months ago on 30 October 2012 08:24 (A review of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter)

While one can't deny that the film looks great, and the action sequences are pretty fun, the movie never really finds its footing. It starts way too quickly, never truly developing its characters, and not really giving any reason to care. If it would have just played to the campy fun that the title insisted, this could have been an enjoyable little film, but it just doesn't work. Great title, okay film.


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Cloud Atlas review

Posted : 4 years, 8 months ago on 28 October 2012 06:56 (A review of Cloud Atlas)

Every year, a movie comes along the is guaranteed cult status. Last year, "Drive" took the crown, and while this year has a few contenders already; Looper, The Cabin in the Woods, etc., Cloud Atlas stakes its claim, resulting in one of the single most ambitious films ever made. All six stories in this film would each make great films in their own right, with great characters and wonderful performances, but together they form an idea, an idea that makes this movie truly special.
The acting is great, the direction is wonderful, the editing is some of the finest in a very long time, visually it's quite stunning, and the score is oscar worthy. One of the best movies of the year for sure, and it may one day be viewed as one of the all-time greats.


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Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous review

Posted : 4 years, 8 months ago on 19 October 2012 03:45 (A review of Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous)

Ssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Taken 2 review

Posted : 4 years, 8 months ago on 14 October 2012 10:30 (A review of Taken 2)

I really did wish this one would be one par with the original, but it just isn't. It takes to long to get into the plot, where the first one set it up and let it roll, and the action isn't a energetic as the first. The original was a bit cheesy in parts, but it overcame it with some genuine thrills, this one seemed to have "The Hangover" syndrome and rehashed the first films plot. Liam Neeson is still a badass, but this just never really found its footing. Also, only 24 kills? COME ON!


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